Friday, March 29, 2013

Naked, Farts, Random, Cheetos crumb loving blog post... Say what?! holla!

It's 2:00 exactly as I start this post! 

Random fact that has nothing to do at all with this post at all, except that I thought it was cool. (By the time I ended that sentence it was 2:02 - Why did it take me 2 minutes to end that sentence? Because I was trying to think of something really cool to say after except... except that didn't happen and I ended up with "I thought it was cool" - Making what should have only been a one sentence opening, into an entire paragraph of rambling nonsense. Did I mention that it is now 2:04, lets blame that on the beginning of this post...

Why am I up at 2:05 in the morning you ask?? What's that?? You didn't ask?? Well I'm going to blog about it anyway, because I feel like it's a step up in being somewhat proactive than updating my status on Facebook & plus I don't think I could fit this entire post in a Facebook status update... Yeah I just had to shake my head to remind me why I was writing this blog post. Well it's not because I am writing, which I should be, but I don't want too, so I haven't, at all today actually, but would be a totally better reason for why I am up, but not better because I would rather be writing, but better because I hate my girls are sick! Did you come out of that okay?? Good! So, my 9mth old caught what my 7 yr old had (I totally had to pause to remember if my daughter was 6 or 7 & I swear that it's because it's now 2:11 in the morning & not because I am a bad mom who doesn't know how old my daughter is, but it could have been that I have a VERY bad memory, but that's a different blog post) & what my 5 yr old will catch next and then pass on to me until my husband NEVER gets it, because he somehow manages to steer clear of the germs my girls so selflessly, love to share with me. When I was teaching them to share, maybe I should have given them a written list of things that were okay and not okay to share.  Such as...

Not okay to share list:
*How many time my 5 yr old farts within 5 minutes (I swear she is the boy my husband doesn't have & currently holds the record, which I don't keep track of because farting is gross & because she is the only one who tries to break her own record. My husband tried, but failed. Again gross! I don't care if our bodies were made to do that, are bodies were made to do a lot that I find gross, doesn't make it any less gross)

*Used tissue. Never is it okay to share used tissue. Unless there is no tissue in the house, or paper towels, or wipes, or paper, or anything else that can be used in replace of tissue.)

Okay to share:
*Chocolate (but who am I kidding?? Trying to get my girls to share chocolate, is like trying to get me to share chocolate. I will bite them! Secretly I eat my food really fast so I don't have to share with my girls. I'm that kind of mother.)

*Cheetos kisses! (what are Cheetos kisses?? Well Rylee likes to rub puffy cheeto crumbs all over her lips and give me kisses! I love them & Cheetos crumbs! Don't judge me!!)

That's just a few things, of course there are a ton more, but did I already say it's 2:30?? Have I even said why I am writing this post yet?? Plain and simple (unlike the entire first half of this post) I want to blog more! Why I have come to this conclusion, I don't know, but I like to ramble about random stuff including farts and Cheetos kisses. So my goal is to write at least one blog post a day, even if all it says is: You read this because I have mind controlling powers and I said too... & because the subject says NAKED PICTURES OF LIAM HEMSWORTH or JENNIFER ANISTON (whichever is your preference) Zac Efron would probably also get your attention.. On a side note: if I do happen to ever get a hold of actual naked pictures of the above, I will post them. I'd search Google for them now, but I'm afraid of what I would find!

So this post that took me 44 minutes to write, includes no naked pictures of Zac Efron, Liam Hemsworth or Jennifer Aniston, but does contain some slightly weird and completely random facts about my girls, and all because I wanted to say that I will be blogging more about other random facts and the craziness that is my family, maybe some real or possibly somewhat altered naked celebrity photos, & my books! Well book for now, Flutter, holla! Not sure if I can pull off saying holla! out loud, but in my head it sound aight... no? Can't blame a playa for trying... not that either?? I'll work on my gangsta within, holla!), but 2 books soon and then hopefully books!! If, by chance, you are still reading this blog post, I might be having a giveaway very soon for said, Flutter (holla! I think I will say that every time I say Flutter, holla! only because I like the way it sounds in my head) book, in the form of a signed paper back?? They're awfully pretty!! Hopefully I will get faster at this blogging thing, not sure how I will last if each post takes an hour to write...

Peace, I'm out (this would have been a far more dramatic exit. had I had a microphone, an audience and mood lighting... wait, that sounds like the making of a bad porno)

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