Friday, October 12, 2012

Cambria Hebert: Bewitched Blog Tour!

So today I have the ever so lovely Cambria Hebert on my blog!! I have the honor of being able to be apart of her Bewitched Blog Tour! Check out a little about her new release in the Heven and Hell series & a am awesome short story about Zombie Chickens!! It's hilarious!!

Hello Everyone!
Big thanks to Melissa for having me here today as part of the Bewitched Blog tour! Bewitched is my newest release in the Heven and Hell series. It is a short novella detailing Kimber, the girl we all love to hate. 
And because it’s almost Halloween and I am feeling extra witchy (watch out!) I have brought along a little story I wrote about chickens… yes, chickens. Many of you know that I am terrified of the nasty things (no I am not kidding!) and so I have written a story to match my fear and go along with Halloween. I present to you a story about Zombie Chickens!
Before you read my masterpiece (lol) here is a little info about Bewitched:
For years, I accepted that Heven was more popular than me. I never liked it but I lived with it. I walked in her shadow, I stood by her when no one else would. When I finally thought her spotlight was mine things began to change. She began to change. Now she hardly ever calls me back, she spends all her time with her hot new boyfriend and everyone at school thinks she’s back on top. She had it all. But apparently she wants more. She wants Cole – my boyfriend. What’s worse is that it looks like she got him. I’ve had enough and she’s going to be sorry. Why?
                                                               Because I am bewitched.

And now for your scare!!!!

I awoke to an odd sound. I didn’t want to get up lying beneath the sheets and burrowed under the comforter. My body’s internal clock was telling me it was so early that it wasn’t even natural for me to be awake.
But the sound was so odd that I couldn’t ignore it and drift back to sleep. I turned my head toward the single window in the room, it was still so early no light from the morning sun shone around the edges of the blind.
The sound was for sure coming from outside – in the dark – not really of dark of night but not yet of morning. It was that odd time of day – the transition from night to day.
The sound was constant – a sort of moaning whine. It changed in pitch off and on going from loud to low but it sounded kind of lazy. It kind of sounded like crowing… a muffled, drawn out – drugged out – kind of crowing the rooster did in the morning when the sun was beginning to rise…
But that was crazy because rosters didn’t crow in the dark.
Unable to shake off the sound and the uneasy feeling it gave me I tossed off the covers and rolled out of bed pointing my sleep heavy body toward the bathroom. I was awake (sort of) and I had to pee. I shuffled into the bathroom not bothering with the light – I had been in here a thousand times before and knew what to navigate around.
I was only wearing a nightshirt so I pulled down my panties and sat down, flinching at the coldness of the hard toilet seat. I thought nothing of the splash I heard in beneath me – I was peeing after all.
Something sharp sunk into the flesh of my buttocks and I screeched and jumped off the seat. Something came with me and slapped the back of my thigh. I screamed again and flicked on the light.
There was a giant green snake hanging from my butt! I screamed again and this time the snaked hissed and unlatched its fangs from my behind. I took the chance and sprang away tripping because my panties were around my ankles. I looked back as I yanked up the pink and red cloth and noted the green snake slithering on the floor, a wet trail behind it. It had to be a good 3 feet long…
I thought toilet snakes were a joke.
I reached around, shoving my hand down where I had bitten and felt a stab of pain. I held my fingers up in front of my eyes – they were bloody. Were toilet snakes poisonous??
The snake hissed and I noted it was closing the distance between us.
I screamed and raced from the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I stared warily at the crack beneath the door wondering if the snake would squeeze beneath it.
“Go back to the toilet!” I hollered. As far as I was concerned I was never using that potty again.
The odd moaning sound distracted me and I went to the window and lifted the blind. I stared down into the yard – which was barely lightening with the first morning rays.
Every single chicken from the coop was out and wandering around in the yard. It was an odd sight because they stared straight ahead as they moved. They didn’t peck at the ground or look for food. They didn’t even look at one another. They stared off making that odd sound…
I raced down the stairs, sparing a quick look at the bathroom door. No sign of the toilet snake. I pushed open the kitchen door and ran out into the yard, the wet grass sticking to my bare feet. I slowed as I reached the chickens who were still staring off and making that not quite crowing sound.
Suddenly they all stopped. Silence reigned for mere seconds then all hell broke loose.
The spindly brown legs they stood on seemed to stretch and spin, their feathered, dirty wings reached out and they all turned toward me. That’s when I noticed their beady eyes. Hungry.
They let out a cawwwwww and then charged. I screamed. I had no idea that chickens moved so fast.
They came racing at me, snapping their beaks and scratching their pointy toes. Feathers began flying and my heart began hammering in my chest. I raced toward the bag of corn hoping to distract them with a snack.
They pecked at my feet and ankles as I reached into the bag, on tried to fly and hit me in the back, ripping my shirt with its nasty beak. I cried out and flung the corn onto the ground.
I had one moment of relief – a moment that was only me thinking I was safe. The chickens didn’t care about the corn. They ignored it. They kept pecking away at the fragile skin of my legs and feet. They didn’t seem to know what they were doing – only trying to satisfy their hunger.
They were hungry but not for feed. For me.
They were zombie chickens. I was going to get pecked to death by these nasty little creatures. I had a vision of myself falling to the earth and them pecking out my eyes and scratching away my skin. The warm trickle of blood on my legs seemed to shake me out of my paralyzing fear.
 I looked around.
I found a weapon.
It was a metal rake with a long wooden handle. I began swinging it. The chickens began flying.
“Take that you feathered freaks!”
I kept flinging them as I moved toward the door of the house. I would take my chances with the toilet snake over a pack of crazed zombie chickens any day.
I ran into the house taking the rake (now covered in feathers) with me. I slammed the door and sagged against it.
A hissing sound brought my head up. There was no longer one toilet snake…. There were ten. And with them was angry Emu that was growling….
I screamed. And screamed. And screamed.
My eyes flew open and I sat up with force. I was in bed. The sheets were sticking to my sweat soaked skin. It had been a dream.
Just a dream. A nightmare.
I shivered.
That was the last time I eat a meatball sub before bed. After my heart rate returned to normal I climbed out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. Once there I stood for a nano - second before switching on the light and staring down into the empty toilet. It was safe to pee.
Once my task was complete I left the bathroom, going back out into the bedroom… I would just peak outside to see what the chickens were doing…
I never made it to the window.
An emu taller than me was in the center of the bedroom and it was growling.
It charged.

Thanks for having me here today!!!!
Happy Halloween!

Bewitched Giveaway!!

Comment on this post & I will pick a random winner to win:

A signed  Bewitched notecard
A signed  Bewitched Flyer
A signed  Bewitched bookmark
An Ecopy of Bewitched


  1. Thank you so much for having me here today and for hosting me on the Bewitched Tour! you are awesome! The post looks great! have a great weekend!

  2. LOVELY post you guys!!! Awesome <3

  3. Bewitched sounds good! :) I hate chickens as well!

  4. Great post love it love u guys xxoo

  5. Bewitched sounds great!(:
    The toilet snake kinda scares me tho! :P